Wanting.

If there was one thing that I thought I had control over in my college applications, it was my personal statement.

I had this great essay written out, all about me tutoring Andrew and how wonderful it was and such. And I felt like I finally had a chance of getting myself out there.

Until my mother told me otherwise. Apparently, she and my dad had hired this college expert who wanted me to write about something generic like being an only child. This expert lady thinks that my essay is "too unique" for anyone to relate to.

I think that's absolutely ridiculous. In the end, I agreed to talk to this lady, but I don't want to have to change my essay at all. I don't want to write about me going to the Philippines to discover my roots and have some sort of self-discovery. I don't want to write about how being the only child affected me in the long run. I want to write about Andrew.

But the thing is that it's not just about Andrew. I don't want to write about Andrew, I want to write about Andrew and Justin and Nicky and Austin and all of the other lovely kids that mean so much to me. I want to write about them so much, I feel that if I don't, I just might explode. There are all these emotions inside me that I need to make public. I feel like I have to let the world know, because I'm so, so happy right now.

But how? How can I write that I love going to school because I look forward to Justin's quirky charm or Nicky being fabulous or Andrew and his endearing naivete?

If I can't write about that, then what?

What else is there?